Grumpyhatlady and Chums

I posted a survey thing when my blog was in its infancy on feet. It can now be found here BUT before you scoot off to have a look at the old post read this one first.

So feet, they’re evil, right?

I hypothesised many years ago that they should be cut off at birth.

There are many positive, non-discriminatory practices that would arise from an entire population, without those hideous, gnarly, stinky, rancid, fungal feet.

Aside from humanity adapting to walk on our new-found stumps, we could in one fail swoop reduce capitalist practices involved in providing footwear at ridiculous costs, pharmaceutical companies wouldn’t be able to capitalise on potentially expensive and disruptive digit-disasters such as athletes foot or fungal nail infections and we would no longer need those deviants who call themselves “chiropodists.”

Now don’t think I’m proposing, we all just walk about on stumps, as soon they would bleed and become as septic and rancid as feet. Labobo Enterprises ™ already has patent pending on ‘Foot-Loose™‘, a specific screw in fixture that would be installed at amputation.

This would allow humans to utilise a series of accessories designed specifically for Foot-Loose ™

No longer would there be a need for different shoe sizes

In an age of austerity, an entire family could make use of the same pair of shoes, ski’s, rollerblades etc. Just screw the universal accessory attachments into your Labobo Enterprises™ Foot-Loose™ fixture and you’re off.

And because the Foot-Loose™ fixtures are universal, accessories are suitable for everyone, regardless of age or size – One size fits all!

Don’t have a large garden for a trampoline each?

Never mind, you can attach springs to your stumps and bounce anywhere. Fun for all the family

Want to reach that special magazine kept on the top shelf? you can screw in Foot Loose™ hydraulic shoes, no more need for dangerous, storage-inefficient ladders or stilts and they can go anywhere with you. You can’t do that with a 6ft ladder!

Features in development include: Tank tracks, snow shoes,, flippers and gardening attachments.

Remember to cast your votes on hideous evil feet here